There were a few shifts into high gear: in my early twenties I worked at a hostess club a few blocks from where I live now in downtown Los Angeles. I was so naive, I thought it was just dancing. I was too poor to afford contacts, so I couldn't even recognize customers. I would just stare vacantly ahead with a relaxed pretentious smile on my face that they interpreted as being aloof. When I stopped being selected, I put on my glasses and I was shocked at all the handjob action that was going on in the back room. Of course I was shocked, horrified, and kept my glasses off, but made little money since I was such a good girl.

More monetary desperation led me to try an amateur dance contest, where clearly I was the only amateur. The winner of the dance contest snaked up a 30 foot pole, flipped upside down, and disrobed her beaded see through dress without even touching it, hardly a green stripper, pure hustler. I shelved dirty dancing till my last year of college, when all the financial aid money ran out. I stripped at one of the best clubs in Vegas, and I feature danced at the opening of another. I would finish my Physics lab on a Thursday afternoon, take the bus to LAX and then take Southwest to Vegas, bus to the club, check in and pay my exorbitant house fee and work double shifts through till Sunday am, and then I would fly back Monday am for my first 8 am class in Calculus. I made enough money to hire someone to take notes for me in class and some lectures I never attended, instead I did all the problems and showed up to the midterms and finals only, catnapping when I could. I was still a good girl, and it wasn't until I got into porn that I went all out balls to the wall. I finally felt free to experiment, and get in touch with my dark side.